At the Heathman, after reading the contract



My breath hitches with the sight of her. She’s breathtaking. She has a black lace backless dress on, her hair
elegantly lifted off and done up in an elegant bun showing her beautiful long neck. The dressbarely reaches her knees. She has high heeled Christian Louboutins showing off her elegantlegs. Her make-up is so light as if her face was born in her elegant color. My subconsciousreminds me to breathe. I automatically get up and find my feet start walking towards her.Without a word I proffer my hand and also without a word she takes it. Both of our breathing shallow.

“I can’t do it... I’m sorry, but I just can’t agree to your terms. They’re too harsh. Too outside the scope of anything I have envisioned for myself. I’m not judging. It may be right for some people, but not for me! I want more... More out of my life... More out of my
relationship... More...” she drifts off. 

I want her, love her, hold her, consume her, but I just stare. I take a step towards her.She backs up a step.

“Please don’t!” she says in a slow voice.
“Why not?” I demand. 
“I don’t get to touch you. Why should it be any different for you?” she says in a sad forlorn voice.
“Ana... I...” I say without a way to explain what is wrong with me. “I’m fifty shades of fucked up baby! I don’t want this on you.” I say.
“I know. Maybe this is best,” she says without conviction 
“Can I kiss you at least?” I say.
She closes her eyes, fighting with her emotions, and urges.“I can’t. Because if we do, I won’t be able to leave!”

"Whatever we have here, isn’t for me. I’m going to get hurt,” she gets up to go.
“Please Ana!” is all I can say in a pleading voice! I can’t let her go! I won’t! I care so much about her. I don’t think I can do without her! 

Sound track: Lost - Michael Bubble


Christian's POV by Emine