We didn't broach the subject over breakfast,but I knew,he was already planning the first steps to adopting this little boy.
Because we had already adopted Elliot successfully,I imagined that this time round it would be like a walk in the park.
Little did I know,what laid ahead,how much more difficult and time consuming this procedure would turn out to be.
I returned to the hospital to check on Christian,"my son",as I already called him in my mind.
When I entered his room,he sat up in his bed,blankie clutched to his chest,a couple of cars scattered on the duvet.
He looked at me and for the first time he smiled at me,a fleeting shy smile,but it was a smile,I was sure of that.
My heart jumped for joy;he had recognized me.
Slowly I walked towards his bed so as not to frighten him.
I sat on the edge of the bed and stretched my hand out to touch his little hand,but he pulled it back,hiding it under his comforter,his eyes turned a darker shade of gray and I could see fear in them again,as I had at the first time we met.
I realized then,he didn't like to be touched anywhere. But why?
Despite the fact that I could not understand his apparent fear of any physical contact,I accepted it there and then and just sat motionless,my hands clasped in my lap.
His eyes were fixed on to mine,as if he tried to memorize my features,my face,my whole being.
After what seemed an eternity,I rose and waved at him with a big smile,but Christian didn't wave back,only his fearful eyes followed me until I closed the door behind me.
Soon he will be "Our son".
(to be cont.)
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