The Quest

Christian's behavior pattern did not seem to change over the coming months. Despite all the love and attention lavished on him by us, Elliot’s clumsy attempts of encouragement, our "youngest son" remained mute and distant.

Christian was a very self-sufficient little boy; he did not ask for help and worked out how to do things for himself with few exceptions.

The only thing that worried Carrick. And me was his total reluctance to speak or letting anybody touch him.

Not even a tiny little kiss, a squeeze of his small hands would he condone. Other signs displayed by Christian made me think, that he could be suffering from Autism, possibly Asperger Syndrom, a variant of Autism.So, with a heavy heart, Carrick and I decided to seek professional hello for Christian. Finding the right person was not easy either. We wanted some one, who was an expert in this field.

After thorough research and endless talks with my girlfriends Lance and Janine, Carrick and I chose a doctor of Psychiatry here in Seattle, who was world renowned for his research into Autism in young children and had published several studies in medical journals about the subject.

The appointment day came around, when I had to take Christian for his first session with the specialist.

As always, he followed me around the house in the morning. I had permission from his headmaster to keep him at home for the day, because the appointed time with the specialist was set for 3pm that afternoon. Carrick finished early that day too and the three of us set of for the drive from Bellevue towards Downtown Seattle.

I didn't know whether it would benefit Christian or not. But anything was better than this abnormal behavior for a five-year-old boy.

The practice of the Psychiatrist was unassuming large, but unobtrusive sandstone build house with a large garden to one side and back. An old fashioned doorknocker was fitted to the wooden front door. We did not need to use it, as it opened from inside and a tall, slightly gray haired man in his forties stood in front of us. His friendly smile put us all at ease. I had the distinct feeling to have made the right choice with Dr. White.

We were ushered inside and shown to a medium. Size sitting room. The furniture were rustic and a bit "oldie world”, but. Inviting and comfortable.

Dr. White lost no time and asked Christian to come with him into an adjacent smaller room.

I spotted a variety of toys scattered on the floor and an assortment of dolls on the windowsill.

Christian looked at Carrick and me with large, questioning eyes. I nodded at him and smiled, but he remained impassive. Dr. White observed at close quarters, how Christian behaved himself. Suddenly he bent down to him and whispered something into his ear.

Christian looked up at him and then to Carrick and me; to our utter amazement he walked alongside this mania total stranger to him, into.the room with the toys.

Christian, age 5

Not once did he turn his head back towards us.

Carrick and I were left to ponder what 'magic' words Dr. White whispered into our son's ear.

After ca. 3/4 of an hour Dr. White and Christian returned from the playroom.

I searched in his little face anxiously for any telltale sign of distress, or even fear. But he looked relaxed, though impassive as always.

Carrick took it upon himself to walk with Christian back to the caregiving me a chance to talk to Dr.White in confidence.

"Although he seemed to be willing to occupy himself with a couple of the toys in the playroom, he remained mute and unresponsive," the psychiatrist told me.

"The surprising thing though was, that he only picked up the little motor cars and a toy piano; do you have any idea, why Christian just took an interest in these particular items?"Dr. White questioned me further.

I thought for a couple of minutes about his question; then it came to me: “when Christian was admitted after they found him alone with his dead mother, all he possessed were a few little toy cars".

"That explains lot, Mrs.Grey", he replied. “I believe, we have a long way to go yet. Christian is an emotionally severely damaged child, Mrs Grey".